


Since Can't Remember When

by Wonderlandleighleigh



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers Endgame, Avengers Endgame Spoilers, F/M, steve's new timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 14:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19465504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandleighleigh/pseuds/Wonderlandleighleigh
Summary: Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter, wandering their way toward that dance.





	Since Can't Remember When

**Author's Note:**

> *Climbs the highest mountain* 
> 
> *clears throat* 
> 
> I liked the Endgame ending. 
> 
> Do not read this fic if you didn't. It wasn't written for you. 
> 
> If you try to debate or fight with me in the comments, I will delete them. Life is too short to argue about time travel and alternate timelines.
> 
> Sincerely yours - the management.

1.

He feels tears spring to his eyes when he sees Peggy again. 

She’s whole, and healthy; young and beautiful. A tad older than he remembers but it’s been a couple of years. It’s 1947 now, and she’s been staying at Howard’s big ugly mansion in California. 

“Peg, I-” 

He ducks behind a lounge chair by the pool as she snatches up her gun and shoots, causing the wild animals Howard Stark’s been collecting to squawk and screech, and a tall, stiff-looking man to run outside to see what all the fuss is.

Steve lifts the lounge chair to shield himself and squeezes his eyes shut. “Peggy, it’s me!” 

“The hell it is!” she snarls. “Who sent you?” 

“I sent me,” Steve argues. “I can explain everything, but you’re gonna have to put down the gun!” 

“Good lord,” the other man marvels. “I recognize that voice. That’s-” 

“Steve Rogers,” Peggy snaps. “Or so he says.” 

Steve hears her set the gun down and slowly, he lowers the chair, swallowing as he gazes at her again.

“Alright,” she says, hands on her hips. “Explain.” 

He takes a breath, and looks down when he realizes that his hands are shaking; that everything...the fight with Thanos, Nat and Tony’s deaths, returning the stones, it’s all catching up to him. 

He does his best. He tries hard to get to his feet, but his vision starts to blur, and his quivering legs give and he hears Peggy yelp out his name before it all goes black and he hits the pavement.

2.

“It’s some kind of global positioning device,” Howard Stark’s voice echoes from a distance. “And these...I don’t know what the hell but they look delicate. I’ll analyze it all in the lab.” 

“But is it really him?” Peggy’s voice asks. 

“Yep,” Howard responds. “A decade older, but it’s him.” 

“Where has he been all this time?” another woman’s voice asks. 

Steve opens his eyes and listens to the conversation for a long moment, before slowly testing out his legs. They’re working again, which is great, but not terribly well. Slowly, he moves to the doorway and watches as Peggy, Howard, the man from before, and another woman, a redheaded woman he’s never seen, talk about him. 

“It’s a very long story,” Steve tells them softly, and the group jumps, turning to stare at him in shock, and he gives them a sheepish grin. “But I’ll trade it to ya for a cuppa coffee.” 

“You’re on,” Howard says, pointing to the other man. “Jarvis! Coffee for the Captain.” 

“Yes, sir,” Jarvis nods, rushing off. 

Steve grins fondly, watching Jarvis go. “Huh,” he marvels, connecting the dots between the tall, English man and the English-accented AI Tony favored for so long.

His thoughts are interrupted by Peggy clearing her throat, and he turns to her, eyes wide. 

“Captain.” 

Steve swallows nervously. “Agent.” 

Peggy tips her chin up, feigning confidence. “You’re late.” 

He can’t help a huffed laugh that very quickly turns into a sob. 

She’s in front of him in seconds, tears in her own eyes as she clutches his shoulders and pulls him to her in a tight embrace. 

3.

“Time travel? Aliens?” Howard marvels as he watches Steve drink his coffee. “Particles that take you into another realm of existence? Norse gods?” 

Steve nods, and says nothing else, knowing that Peggy’s eyes are boring a hole into the back of his head. He’s careful to leave out specifics. Tony being Howard’s son. Bucky being back. SHIELD’s Hydra infestation. Tales for another time, he figures, when the shock of these stories has worn off. 

“Are you sure you didn’t just crash into the ocean and go crazy for a while?” Howard asks. 

Steve rolls his eyes, and shoves a hand into one of the pouches on his uniform, pulling out a black device the size of a small, thick brick, handing it to Howard. 

“There’s no signal cuz they haven’t been invented yet, but-” 

“It’s a handheld computer,” Howard marvels, poking at the screen, his eyes getting wider by the second. 

“A smartphone,” Steve corrects him. “Makes phone calls. Browses a worldwide network of information. Allows for text messaging and video calls. Nobody will have this for another seventy-ish years.” 

“So you went to the future,” Peggy says evenly, stepping forward from the corner. “You saved the world a couple of times, and now you’re back.” 

Steve nods slowly. 

“It seems like you built quite a life for yourself,” she goes on. “Friends. Family, even. Why not stay there?” 

He goes quiet. Thinking about it for a long moment before answering. “I loved those people. But I couldn’t figure out how to make it all work. I couldn’t- I couldn’t make it work.” 

“Hey,” Howard says firmly, reaching over to grip his shoulder. “It’s okay now, pal. You’re home.” 

He just about cries again.

4\. 

“We can’t pick up where we left off,” Peggy tells him as he looks out at the pool later. 

He blinks and turns to her, looking grim. “I know.” 

“I’m different now,” she says firmly. “And clearly you are as well.” 

Steve nods and takes a breath. “Peggy, if you want me gone...if I don’t fit in your life anymore? I can go.” 

She groans. “Oh, Steve. Please do not tell me you came back here just for me.” 

“Of course not,” Steve tells her. “There’s stuff I gotta do here; things I can deal with now so they won’t bite my friends in the ass in the future. At least in this timeline. But...but I can’t lie to you. I wanted that dance. I wanted you. I’m here in California for you.” 

She closes her eyes and takes a breath 

Steve nods. “Okay. I get it. I’ll uh...I need to get some things together but I’ll be gone by morning.” 

Peggy throws up her arms. “Oh, why are you so dramatic all the time?! You can’t just land in my lap after two years of being missing, presumed dead, and then expect me to fall into your arms. In what universe would that be reasonable?!” 

He looks down, chastised. 

“What other things are you here to take care of?” Peggy asks after a long pause between them.

Steve swallows and looks at her. “Bucky survived the fall. I have to find him.” 

Peggy’s eyes widen in shock. 

“I love you,” Steve says quickly. “I’ve loved you since the day you sucker punched Hodge in the lineup.” 

She laughs incredulously. 

He gazes at her longingly. “And if you’ve moved on, then I understand. But I had to try.” 

“I need time,” she tells him softly. “It wasn’t easy to come to terms with your death, and I...I just need more time.” 

Steve nods solemnly. “Then you’ve got it.” 

5\. 

He can tell Peggy’s nervous about taking him into the SSR office with her, but Steve and Daniel get along famously, trading war stories and chatting about the New York neighborhoods they grew up in.

But they get down to business pretty quickly; Steve getting checked out by SSR’s doctors and questioned by the higher-ups. 

“So if you get thawed out in 2011,” Daniel says slowly, thoughtfully. “That means there’s a version of you still in the ice right this hot second.” 

Vernon Masters leans forward, looking deeply intrigued. “That’s right. Do you know where?” 

Steve lifts an eyebrow, looking at Masters warily. “The technology doesn’t exist to keep that version of me alive after the deep freeze.” 

“You don’t think we could handle it?” Masters asks. “We’ve got some pretty advanced t-” 

“No offense,” Steve cuts him off. “But being in here is like walking into a preschool classroom.” 

He gets glared at. 

Two weeks later, the SSR do find that other version of Steve Rogers, having taken Steve’s words as a challenge. 

Poor bastard dies three days later. 

Steve rubs his eyes, looking down at the shield they’d handed to him. His other self’s shield. 

“Fuck’s sake.” 

6\. 

“What do you suggest, Captain Rogers?” Jack Thompson asks him as they work a case for the SSR. Thompson’s been in town for a couple of days, supposedly looking into something for the New York office, but it’s clear as day he’s more curious about Captain America. 

Jack Thompson is an opportunistic son-of-a-bitch. 

Steve’s not a fan. 

“Do as Peggy says,” Steve says slowly, as if Thompson is some kinda idiot. 

Because he is. 

Peggy looks utterly smug, and Steve can’t help but notice how attractive that looks on her.

“Thank you, Captain,” she responds on an exhale. 

7\. 

He’s regained his strength and packed up a bag and it’s time.

“I gotta find Bucky,” Steve tells Peggy. “It’s time.” 

“When will you be back?” she asks, as she follows him towards the door. 

“When I find him.” 

“Will you be in touch?” 

“I’ll try.” 

“I’m coming with you,” Peggy snaps.

“You’re needed here,” Steve argues. “The SSR need you to make sure they don’t screw things up more than they already have. I got in touch with Jones. He’s comin’ outta retirement to help me out. Dumdum, too.” 

“But not me.” 

“It’s not because you’re a woman, if that’s what you’re tryin’ to say,” Steve says firmly. “This is where you’re supposed to be. What if there’s some big SSR case you’re supposed to crack, and you’re not here to do it and it all goes tits up? And that guy Masters lurkin’ around? You and I both know he looks shady.” 

She finds it hard to argue with that, pursing her lips and looking away from him. 

“Peg. C’mon. Just trust me on this.” 

Peggy takes a deep breath and looks up at him, her eyes a little sad. “I suppose I...I just got you back and the thought of losing you yet again is...unpleasant.” 

“I’m comin’ back,” Steve tells her, stepping a little closer. “I promise you. I’m gonna go find Buck and then I’m comin’ back. And you can teach me how life’s supposed to work out here in California.” 

She smiles a little and shakes her head. “Fine. Go so you can come back.”

He leans in, kissing her cheek lightly before heading towards the door. 

8\. 

He’s only been back a few hours. Howard squeezed Bucky into an incredibly expensive private hospital, and he’s being taken care of, but Steve still worries. Without the advancements in technology in the future, he worries Bucky’s life might not be saved. 

Same as his other self. 

He grabs a shower back at Howard’s place, intending to take a breather and then head back to the hospital. He wants to be there when Bucky comes to. 

“You were right, of course.” 

Steve grins slowly.

“Oh, don’t look so smug,” Peggy snaps as she steps into the guestroom he’s staying in. “Honestly.” 

“So what was it?” 

“Black holes. A substance previously not known to man. A movie actress hell-bent on ending the world. A handsome doctor.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Steve says. “How handsome?” 

“Very. And charming. Smart. Witty. Kind.” 

“Sounds like a real catch,” Steve says, feeling his heart sink a little. 

“Didn’t work out,” Peggy shrugs as she leans against the dresser. “Not the right dance partner.” 

Steve swallows nervously as he watches her. “You okay?” 

“Well, I was nearly blown to pieces at least once,” she tells him. “And I was impaled.” 

His eyes nearly fall out of his head and he stomps towards her, pulling her shirt up to look. “Peg, Jesus-” 

“Excuse me, Captain!” 

“You were supposed to be careful!” 

“I don’t remember ever agreeing to that.” 

“You coulda died!” 

She shoves him away, suddenly turning angry. “You don’t get to lecture me on being careful, Steve Rogers. Not after what you did.” 

They both go silent, staring at each other for a long, tense moment, before Steve turns his back on her, rubbing his face. 

“You’re right,” he says quietly. “I...I did what I had to do to save lives, and I didn’t think about my own safety, because to hell with me.” He turns back to her, looking sheepish. “And you’re the same. So you’re right. And I’m sorry.” 

Peggy crosses her arms and closes her eyes. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have thrown that in your face. Not after everything you’ve been through.” 

“Ah, I’ll be okay,” Steve shrugs and gives her a sad grin. “Got Bucky back. Gonna help Howard not to be such a turd. You’re still speaking to me.” 

“I suppose,” she hesitates for a moment. “I suppose I assumed that if you came back, it would be different. I would feel relieved. I never expected to feel angry at you.” 

“It’s okay, Peggy. Not that you need my permission, but you’re allowed to be angry with me.” He gives her that sad grin again. “I left you.” 

“I don’t want to be angry anymore, Steve,” Peggy says softly. “And I’m tired of feeling as though I’m still missing you even though you’re a mere two footsteps away.” 

He gazes at her for a long moment, before slowly taking the few steps closer to her, standing in front of her. “I’m right here, Peggy.” 

She deflates a little and lets her head rest on his chest.

9.

“How’s it looking?” 

Howard looks up from the metal arm in front of him and takes a deep breath. “I’m still working on it. Our Russian and Hydra friends’ bedside manner leaves something to be desired. Attaching this arm is like hooking Barnes up to a torture device.” 

Steve nods grimly. “The doctors said they had to be careful with getting it off. It was just about welded to his skin.” 

“Just about,” Howard confirms. “It’s gonna take me some time to figure out how to reattach this thing without it putting him in constant agony.” 

“I’ll be okay.” 

Bucky’s voice is scratchy, and he’s definitely seen better days, but he’s on his feet, and that’s what matters. 

He grins, still a little pained as he steps into the lab at Stark’s place. “The SSR’s gotta have somethin’ for me to do. And besides, I can still shoot. My trigger finger works great.” 

“Real funny, Buck,” Steve shakes his head. “You’re riding desk duty for now.” 

“Who are you, my mother?” Bucky smirks. 

“No, but she’d agree with me.” 

“How come Sousa gets to go into the field with that bum leg?” Bucky argues, almost pouting. 

Steve rolls his eyes. “Not a discussion, Bucky. You’re benched until you’ve healed the rest of the way and we get your arm sorted out.” 

10\. 

It turns out that both Steve and Bucky absolutely hate California. 

“Too bright,” Steve says as they’re sitting at the table for breakfast one morning. “Enhanced eyesight and this much sunlight is like constantly bein’ blind.” 

“What about snow?” Bucky asks. “What happens when Christmas rolls around and it’s still all sunny and warm? That’s just wrong.” 

“How’m I supposed to take you to the Stork Club for our dance?” Steve teases Peggy one day. “It’s three thousand miles away.” 

“If we move back to New York,” Peggy says, sipping her tea with an amused grin. “We’ll all be working for Jack Thompson.” 

“Who the hell is Jack Thompson?” Bucky asks, confused. 

Steve waves a hand. “He left before I brought you back. I’m not scared of him.” 

“I kinda miss New York,” Howard muses. “What do you think Jarvis, you miss New York?” 

“Well, sir, I quite miss the peace and quiet of not having an entire menagerie in the yard,” Jarvis admits.

“Ah, what do you know?” Howard grouses. “My zoo is great.” 

“And totally unethical,” Steve adds. 

Ana snickers. “I think Captain Rogers is much more worried about Miss Carter going out on another date with Doctor Wilkes than about zoo animals.” 

“Aw, Stevie, don’t be jealous,” Bucky teases him. 

Steve gives Peggy a sheepish look, and then focuses his attention on his coffee cup.

11\. 

“You’re killing me,” Bucky complains as Steve watches Peggy talk to Sousa at the SSR office. “You know that? You’re killing me dead, here.” 

“Actually I saved your life,” Steve corrects him without looking at him. 

“If you don’t go kiss that woman on the mouth, I will,” Bucky grumbles. 

Steve blinks at him rapidly in surprise. “Buck-” 

“I mean it,” Bucky cuts him off. “Stop torturing yourself, Pal. You came back here because you weren’t happy, right? Because the future was literally driving you crazy. So be happy.” 

Steve swallows nervously. “It’s not that easy. For her I’ve been dead and gone for years...our lives are different now, and...and I don’t know what she wants.” 

“You came back here for her,” Bucky argues quietly. “If it weren’t for her you woulda stayed in the future. So do something about it before I do, just to spite you.” 

“She never liked you as much as she liked me.” 

Bucky nearly brains him with a stapler. “Punk!” 

12\. 

“I gotta say,” Steve says softly, as he looks up at the night sky from his spot on one of Howard’s lounge chairs out by the pool. “I know I give California a lotta shit. But this is nice.” 

Peggy smiles fondly as she settles into the chair next to him. “Steve?” 

“Uh-huh?” 

“When you picture your life now,” Peggy starts. “Now that you’re back here. What do you see?” 

He stays silent for a long moment, and all they can hear is the soft chirping of crickets and the swish of the pool water. 

Steve takes a breath and looks at her. “You and me.” 

“And...and what does that look like?” Peggy asks. 

He grins sheepishly. “I guess...I kinda hoped...that we could be together. You workin’ for the SSR, and I could...I dunno. Learn how to cook better. Have a hot meal ready when you get home. Do the grocery shopping and balance the checkbook. Maybe pick up the shield every once in a while when I’m needed.” 

Peggy blinks, and can’t help an amused smile. “You want to be a house husband.” 

Steve sighs softly and gazes at her. “I’m so tired, Peg. If I’m needed, of course I’ll be there, but...but I just wanna live quiet most of the time. All the fighting, all the struggle...it was killin’ me.” 

She gets to her feet and walks over, sitting on the edge of his lounge chair, gazing at him. “You’re...you’re quite a bit older now.” 

“I know.” 

“I am, a little, too,” she tells him. 

“Your three to my twelve,” Steve grins sadly. “And if I’m too old...too different-” 

“No,” Peggy says softly. She hesitates before reaching out to stroke his cheek. “No, you’re not. You’re still you.” 

He lets his eyes drift shut, staying quiet, afraid of ruining the moment, but he’s not prepared when she leans in, and her lips touch his. It takes him a moment to sit up and kiss her back properly.

As they kiss, voices can be heard from the porch.

“Jeezus, finally!”

“Took ‘em long enough.” 

“Quite.” 

“Oh, leave them alone, you three.” 

Steve and Peggy laugh quietly in each others’ arms. 

13\. 

“Well, I think that’s all of it,” Peggy says as she dusts off her hands, looking around at their new home, drenched in warm afternoon sunlight. They’ve spent the day unpacking most of their things. “All set for our little housewarming this weekend.” 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to stay in California,” Steve complains lightly as he walks in from the porch after setting up the mat at their front door. 

“Hush, you love it,” she teases as she wanders over to the record player and looks through their albums. 

“It’s too dry,” Steve tells her, walking over and wrapping his arms around her. “No humidity. And Bucky’s goin’ back to New York.” 

“Humidity is terrible, and Barnes will be back in a month. He promised,” Peggy tells him. “And you, Captain, didn’t close the front door.” 

“I’ll get it in a minute,” he promises, before reaching out and pulling an album off the top. “This one’s good.” 

“That came out after you went into the ice, you know,” she tells him gently. “I had a hard time listening to it for a while.” 

“I love this song,” he tells her, letting go of her to put it on. As the song starts up, he turns to her and offers her a hand. “We never did get that dance in.” 

Peggy smiles widely and takes a breath, before taking his hand.

END


End file.
